This is a question I get asked frequently. People just don't get it. Especially people that don't have them themselves.
And NO, I'm not talking about boobs. I have NEVER been asked that question about my boobs. Maybe "do you even have any?", but not if they're real. It's very obvious that there's been no enhancement here.
No, I'm talking about online friends. People that don't have blogs or online "relationships" don't understand. They don't understand how I can have friends, REAL friends that I've never met. They don't get it. My husband, my family, my coworkers, they just don't understand.
They think my Internet friends are fake or 50 year old perverted old men or space aliens. I guess they think I'm just IMing with my computer or having conversations with random unknown people. They worry that these crazed criminals are going to prey on me or take advantage of me. When they talk about my friends, they add air quotes or call them my imaginary friends or my fake friends.
I try to explain it. I really do. I try to tell them that I've know some of these people for four years! I don't think anyone could keep up the act of being a 30 something soccer mom while they are really a 50 year old pervert for four years. I think I'd catch on.
See, it all started in 2004 when I was pregnant with Xander. I happened to stumble upon Babycenter. I joined the birth club for people expecting in January 2005. We had a great group of women. We talked about lactating and mucus plugs and all sorts of good stuff. We posted ultrasound pictures and argued fought discussed breastfeeding, going back to work, co-sleeping, vaccinating, etc. We really bonded. We all had something in common and that common thread brought us together. But, Babycenter is notorious for trolls. And they started popping up everywhere. So, the core group of us (70+ strong) went to a private board.
And there our friendships have blossomed and grown. We talk about EVERYTHING! Sex, our past, our hopes and dreams, our frustrations, our husbands, our kids, our jobs, religion, politics, EVERYTHING! We bitch and moan and cuss, we cry and laugh and love. We've gone through miscarriages and teenage years (some of us old folks already have teenagers) and deaths of loved ones and divorce. We've also gone through new siblings, new jobs, vacations, meet ups, new businesses. Everything you have in a face to face friendship. Except the fact that we can't touch each other.
We certainly SEE each other on a regular basis. We're always posting pictures. I've even met up with some of them. It's so wonderful to actually meet. I feel like I've truly known these women for years and when you meet it's like seeing a long lost friend. I try to explain that to people. I try to tell them that I'd recognize any one of these women in the grocery store, in the airport, at Disneyland. And not know, like you recognize a celebrity. Like KNOW. I could probably tell you what her kids had for breakfast, where she bought their clothes, what her husband does for a living, what kind of car they drive, when they last went on a date. We definitely know each other. Probably better than I know some of my "touchable" friends.
And I've met even more wonderful women (and a few men) through blogging. And I feel like I know them too. For a lot of people blogging is almost like a diary. And we put it all out there for everyone to see. And by posting and reading and commenting we form strong friendships. Even though we may never meet (although I AM GOING TO BLOGHER09 COME HELL OR HIGH WATER).
Never have these friendships been more real to me, than right now. I posted about my friend who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. Did I mention that she lives in Ireland? Did I mention that I've never "met" her? Did I mention that she's one of my dearest friends? We have know each other for four years and I love her like a sister. I would do anything for her. I want to ease her pain, I want to comfort her.
And I know we ALL do. Over the years our birth board has had a few spats and there have been a few splits, new boards were started, people left, etc. But, in the face of this tragedy, everyone on our e-mail lists was contacted. And let me tell you 70+ women were back together again. We all put aside our differences and pulled together for Suzy. Someone that only a handful have even met. (I won't go into detail on what we're doing because I know she reads and I want her to be surprised. I'll fill you in after she finds out.) The outpouring of love and support is amazing. The ideas and gifts that are on the way to her are touching to say the least.
I sit here with a lump in my throat writing this. These women mean the world to me. Though I haven't actually touched most of them, they are my closest dearest friends. And to anyone that can't understand that, I pity you. Because you don't know what it's like to have true friends all over the globe that will hold your hand and cry with you and laugh with you and love you.
