Part 4

So, a little more background information before I start in with the juicy stuff.  This next part happened right after I turned 18 and graduated high school.  Because of all the trouble I got in in high school my parents informed me they weren't paying for my college (biggest mistake, not only did I have no goal/agenda anymore, I was spiteful).  They went away one weekend, I had a big drinking party, my grandma came over the next morning while the place was still a mess.  I moved out before they came home.  I lived with a friend for a bit (her parents were divorcing and her mom had moved in with her new husband, so the old house was empty except for us).  While I was living with her, I met HIM.  (By the way, at the time, he was 25.)

I had met HIM a few times before.  One of my friends "dated" him, so if I was with her I'd see him around.  She and I had a falling out at some point.  I think she was still "dating"  him when I saw him at the club one night.  I was waiting for someone is a kindof secluded spot.  He walked over and just kissed me.  Like full on, total kiss.  I thought I'd made it to the big time.  He noticed me!  He was interested in me!  And at the club, where he could have anyone! 

We hung out a bit that night.  And quite a bit every time I went to the club.  Eventually, I started hanging out at his house.  I had a part time job, but otherwise I wasn't really doing anything except clubbing and hanging out. He didn't have a job (RED FLAG #1), so we hung out a lot.  He made me feel good about myself.  He was older, good looking, popular, etc.  He said sweet things to me and made my self esteem high.

When my friend's mom sold the house and we had to move, it was natural that I would just move in with him (I still hadn't even talked to my parents).  So, I did.  We had a lot of fun.  We hung out, we went clubbing.  It was like we had our own little life.  I wasn't worried about much. 

Until he started showing his true colors.  He'd invite other people back to our place after the club.  At first I didn't think anything of it, we'd hang out and/or play videos games.  But, then I started to realize that it was usually another couple and another single girl that would come over.  And some of the single girls were REALLY friendly with him.  But, I still didn't think much because I was there ALL THE TIME.  I didn't think he was really doing anything.

Boy, was I wrong.  He would say he was going to the store and hook up with another girl, I would go to work and he'd hook up with another girl, he'd say he was going to his mom's and hook up with another girl.  I bet he even left the club sometimes, hooked up and then came back. 

He started not even caring if I knew.  He started being open about it.  Yet, telling me that they meant nothing, that I was the one he "loved".  He was still able to sweet talk me into thinking things were ok.

But, then, he started bringing them home!  To our house!  These other girls.  We'd be hanging out and all of a sudden they'd get up and go into the bedroom.  The first time I didn't know what to do (remember, this was BB- before balls).  There were always other people at the house, so I usually just stayed out in the living room with them.  Sometimes I'd cry, sometimes I'd pout, sometimes I'd get mad.  But, I didn't say anything- at first. 

I didn't really think I had any options.  It had been months since I moved out of my parent's house and I hadn't talked to them once.  I had cut off contact with the few friends that I had.  HE was my life.  HE was all I had. 

I would try to confront him, but he'd just sweet talk me into believing he really cared for me.  (I'm telling you, looking back I have NO IDEA what I was thinking.)  At one point I faked a pregnancy thinking that would make him stop.  NOPE.  He already had a 5 year old daughter and it really didn't phase him at all.  I honestly didn't know what to do.  I didn't want to live like that, but I didn't really know of any other option.

One day, he brought this girl home and introduced me to her as his roommate.  I made a comment about how there's only one bedROOM, so I guess that's when I was his mate.  He threw a glass of soda at my head.  It made a mess everywhere.  She didn't seem phased though and they went on to do their business while I stood there wet and humiliated.  But, I STILL stayed.

If you ever wonder why women stay in abusive relationships, I'll tell you, you wouldn't understand until you lived it.  These men are manipulative.  They know how to charm you.  They know how to build you up and knock you down.  When they do that all the time you feel the highest highs and the lowest lows.  It's almost like a drug.  And, they pray on women who aren't used to standing up for themselves.

Next time, how I got out and grew those balls.

Comments

[bubblewench]

Oh boy oh boy oh boy.. Been there. Did that. ALL OF IT...

And that last paragraph, gave me chills. It's true, unless you have lived it, you don't know. It's so easy for other people to say "Just leave him!" they don't know.

I'm going to cry now.. (dredging up old ickies in my soul), but not in a bad way... :)

[Jessica Moore]

The suspension is killing me! I've checked your blog like a dozen times. :)

I'm so sorry you went through all that. I had no idea. I can't wait to hear the rest!

Jessica

[BITR Country Girl - Aka Jamie]

Wow! It sounds like he was a real winner. I'm glad to hear that you did get out and are now in a happy situation.

[debbie]

Wow...these posts are bringing back a lot of "what the frack was I thinking??" in so many situations when I was younger. Very brave of you, my dear, to "put it out there" like this.
I am glad that you did find those balls...waiting to read just 'how'!!

[Piper]

Seriously.....I dying here waiting for the final chapter of balls! No seriously, sometimes I wonder why can't we just live our lives backwards, then we wouldn't have these jacked up things happen to us! BUT I know....it will make us VERY wise old women!

[Jules]

Oh girl, you better update ASAP, I need to find out the rest. You left him that day, right? Right???????

[Mary Ann]

I just got caught up on this balls story and now I need to hear the rest. What a jerk this guy was! That is so far beyond my imagination how someone could treat someone else so badly! I hope you not only grew some balls but also kicked him in his!

[Sybil Law]

That guy is a grade A douchenozzle.
Bring on the balls!!!!

[Shamelessly Sassy]

great story. can't wait for the next part!