Fairytales and Margaritas

My Balls- Part 2

Ok, ok.  You guys are ruthless.  I was going to tell you about my love affair with my gay hairstylist today and my wonderful new haircut, but I guess I'll talk about balls instead.

So, we left off with me moving back to NY.  When I got there I didn't fit in again.  I tried.  But, I just wasn't cool.  I ended up with a boyfriend (my first serious boyfriend) my junior year.  We dated for that year.  I ended up not really liking him, but liked the companionship and liked hanging out with HIS friends.  We ended up breaking up when he was pressuring me to have sex with him and cheating with someone else because I said no.  I wasn't really too upset.  Except that I missed hanging out with everyone. 

Late my junior year I started hanging out with a new friend.  She was fun and we had a good time together.  But, she was a bit of a rebel.  She'd convince me to ditch school and hang out at her house.  Long story short, we ended up dating best friends.  She was "experienced" in the sex department, I was not.  Even longer story short, I felt the pressure from my boyfriend and from her.  I wanted our foursome to continue on our happy ways.  Big mistake.  I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend, she ended up breaking up with hers. 

Ultimately, we ended up hanging out with a "rougher" crowd.  We both became friends with this one guy.  We would ditch school with him and hang out at her house.  Because she was "experienced", a lot of the times they would leave me watching TV and go about their business.

One time her mom came home while we were there.  It was awful.  She was screaming and yelling.  I went home and got punished.  Later that night her mom came to our house accusing ME of sleeping with the guy.  She found a condom wrapper and the girl, naturally, blamed it on me.  I denied it til the cows came home.  But, her mom thought that I was the bad influence on her daughter and my parents were fed up with me because I had been acting out recently.  To this day, I don't think they believe that it wasn't me.

That was another turning point.

To be continued...

How I Grew My Balls- Part 1

Get your attention? 

Those of you that don't know me in real life might not believe this, but I'm a pretty ballsy person.  I've been called all sorts of things from obnoxious to assertive to independent to loud to annoying.  Some think it's a compliment others use it as a put down.  Some blame it on my New York upbringing, some say it's because I'm the oldest child.  But, few know the real reason.

I wasn't brought up to be a ballsy person.  I am the oldest, but I was pretty meek as a child.  My mom was 19 when she had me and we lived with my grandparents and my aunt until I was 5.  My mom married my dad (not my bio dad, but my dad, that's a whole nother story) when I was 5.  My brothers were born when I was 7 and 10.  We lived a pretty normal life.  Dad worked, mom stayed home, my brothers and I fought.  We moved a few times. 

I was always a good student. My parents were pretty strict and I learned to "behave".  I was a pretty good kid and pretty quiet, even nerdy.  I had glasses, braces, awful hair, the whole nine.  I was pretty awkward and geeky in middle school.

We moved to Arizona right before high school.  When we moved, I actually found some real friends.  And I felt like I fit in.  We had a "pack" of girls that hung out together all the time.  We had tons of fun.  And good honest fun- no drinking or partying.  We weren't much interested in boys.  Just wanted to goof off and hang out.  As we got a bit older we started exploring boys and parties, but we really just wanted to be together.  We joined the Science Club JUST so we could go on the field trip to San Diego.  And boy did we get in trouble there.  But, they gave us some award about "Can't Breathe Without Each Other".  That's how close we were.  We were there for two years.

Then, my parents decided to move back to NY.  Back where I didn't fit in.  Away from my friends.  I was beyond upset.  I was distraught.  One of the families that I babysat for even offered to let me live with them.  My parents wouldn't allow it.  You cannot believe how completely sad I was.  I felt like my whole life was ending.  Sure, some of that is teenage drama, but it was real to me.  In Arizona I wasn't a geek or nerd.  People liked me.  I had friends.  I fit in.  And I was torn from that after only two years.

To be continued...