No, I'm not taking the blame for anything. I would NEVER do that (ask my husband).
I'm talking about one of my faults. And there are plenty, maybe I'll post a series of blog posts on them.
The one I'm talking about today is my need for change and constant action. I cannot sit still. Not in an ADHD way, just in a life way. I can't "settle down". Is it the Gemini in me?
I am constantly wanting to go on vacation. And not just a want, like, "oh, that would be nice". More like a yearning, a calling to get in the car and GO. And it won't be surpressed. The longer I go without "getting out of town" the more depressed I get.
And I'm constantly signing up for new things. Whether it be classes or magazine or committments. I'm always wanting to learn more, do more.
And I'm always trying new things. I love trying new gadgets, new foods, new crafts, etc. I actually get mad at my husband when he orders a burger AGAIN at a restaurant. I'm always trying to get him to try something new. I get tons of cookbooks and cooking magazines and am constantly making new things. I love to try new things.
Doesn't sound too bad, right?
Except that I get overwhelmed sometimes. In the quest to try new things I usually try TOO MANY new things. And then I don't know how to back out.
And my NEED to travel can become costly! Luckily, we live somewhere that we can drive to Vegas, drive to San Diego, drive to LA, drive to Mexico (although I don't suggest it) or even drive to another city 2 hours away.
And sometimes, MAJOR life decisions are hard for me. This is my current problem. I have to admit, I've never had the same job for more than 3 years. Until my current job. I never even worked for the same company for that long. But, I'm going on 8 years with my current company and 4 years in my current job. And I'm starting to feel the need for change. Which, wouldn't be bad since my boss is retiring in two years and I'll have to find something anyway.
Except, I feel like I need to change NOW. I am starting to get that depressed feeling I get when I'm stagnant. And I don't like it. I wish I could just tell myself to ride out the next two years. I've got a sweet thing going. I only work two days one week, three days the next. In my mind I know it would be best to keep this up for at least another year and a half until Jocelyn could start preschool. But, my mind doesn't always listen. Something tells me I need to move now. Is it intuition? I don't know.
So, I started looking at jobs. I found one that I know I would LOVE (for however long). I will apply for it. The worst that can happen is that I don't get it, at least I don't have to find another job right now. But, if I did get it, I would have to go to a SIX WEEK TRAINING! Would I survive, probably. Would it be hard as hell? Yes! But, at least I'll apply and then wait and see.
In the meantime, I've got a few more months until we go camping again. Maybe I should try knitting or something in the meantime!
Comments