Been so pissed at someone that you didn't know what to do? Been so frustrated that you just didn't know how to get through to them? Tried talking to someone about what was bothering you only to get nowhere?
It seems that I'm in this place more often that I would like. I think part of it is that I still haven't learned "not to sweat the small stuff". So, small things bother me. And I can't let them go. And I take everything personally. Everything.
I try so hard to let things roll off my back, but it doesn't happen. Deep down my confidence cracks. Sometimes people don't even know that they can affect me this way. They may say something completely off the cuff and nonchalant and I'll sit and worry over it. I try to just let it go, but I can't.
But, I've learned a way to get past it without affecting anyone else. I write a letter to the person. I tell them how I'm feeling and how what they said affected me. I tell them how I would like them to handle it differently next time. I get it all out.
Now, you're asking, how does this not affect anyone else? Because I don't give it to them. I just sit on it. Sometimes I think about giving it to them, but usually not. I hold onto it for a day or two. Until I feel better. Then I shred it.
It's so freeing. I feel like I'm letting things go, yet I haven't projected my insecurities onto someone else. I've handled them myself. And it's teaching me that I can't change other people, but I can change how I'm affected by things they do to me.
I actually find that I'm a much more peaceful person this way. I used to be very confrontational with people, now I just let things go (in my own way).
How do you handle frustrations and conflict?
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