Fairytales and Margaritas

Hiatus

Ok, before I explain my title, a few updates.

Work is actually going really well right now.  I've gotten some projects to do, one of my office mates has become a really good friend and in general I'm feeling better about things.  There are still some barriers to break down, but for the most part, I've proven myself and most people now trust me.  So, that's a good thing. 

 And the waxing.  Let's just say that it hurt like nothing I've ever felt before.  But, I love it.  And I will keep it up because I don't want to go through that initial wax ever again.  Ever!  It's supposed to hurt less each time because the hair is finer and comes in thinner.  We will see.  The place that I went had a good deal too.  If you prepay for one spa service each month, you can get unlimited services for half price.  So, now when I go back every 4-6 weeks, I'm also going to get a massage, facial and/or pedicure.  That makes it even more worth it!

Also, I have to tell you about an awesome deal.  Every heard of Zenni Optical?  It looks too good to be true, prescription eyeglasses for $10?  But, I ordered four pairs for $68 and I got them yesterday and LOVE them.  I got some similar to the ones I already had and I can honestly say I like them all!  They took about three weeks to ship, but that's because they come from China and it was during Chinese New Year.  I highly recommend checking them out, though.  One tip, if you currently have eyeglasses, check to see if your frames have numbers on the arms.  These will help you order new glasses that have similar measurements, so you can tell if you'd like them, since you can't try them on.

Now for my big news.  I am taking a hiatus.  And I'm not sure for how long.  I'm not even sure if I'll ever blog regularly again.  Work is a lot busier than my old job.  And sometimes it just seems like I'm trying too hard to think of things to blog about or that I just don't have time to form the post.  And I always feel bad posting away when I can't read anyone else's blogs.  So, for now, I'm taking a break.  Whenever I have some free time, I'll be sure to stop by your blogs and leave comments.  But, I'm going to take the pressure off of myself and just step away for a bit!  I've loved this little journey I've taken.  I'm not much of a writer, English was always my worst subject, but I've met some great people through blogging and I'm happy I jumped on the bandwagon.  Feel free to e-mail me, I'm probably better about communicating that way.  [email protected]

Wax on, Rip off

So, let me just put this out there:  I'm getting my first Brazilian wax on Saturday.  Normally, I tend the forest myself.  But, my husband's birthday is coming up and I'm having some girly surgery, so I thought I'd go for it.  Plus, Casey talks so highly about it, and convinced Loralee to do it too, so I'm jumping on the bandwagon.  I don't know much about the process except that it's probably going to hurt (probably, um yeah, definitely) and it lasts an hour.  And hour!  Yikes!

So, I'd love some advice from those of you that have done this.  And please, someone tell me how I can go through this and leave with at least an ounce of dignity.  The pictures in my head aren't pretty!

I also have a question, do I do any maintenance before I go?  I haven't done anything in awhile.  I mean, it's winter!  And I knew I was going to do this, so I slacked off a bit.  But, with the technician freak out if I go in looking like someone from Land of the Lost?  Or should I just go as is?

It's kindof like cleaning before the cleaning lady comes, right?

Red means stop!

I think it's wonderful that our schools and even preschools teach our children the rules of the road.  An octagon shape that's red automatically means stop to kids.  A red light automatically means go, whereas a green light automatically means go!

But, they don't teach them the exceptions to the rules.  And, when you have four backseat drivers like I do, it can become quite a pain!

See, my kids don't know about turning right on red.  And try explaining it and they just tune out and tell me the police are going to come get me!  Or, when the light turns green, but we're 5 or 6 cars back, they don't understand why we're NOT GOING, THE LIGHT IS GREEN! 

Sometimes being in the car is the most stressful time I have with my kids.  Not only do I need to be a safe driver and make sure not to get in any accidens, I also have to make sure I follow the state traffic laws and the "family" traffic laws.

But, Xander has some advice for when the police are chasing me (because we all know I'm not going to stop, I'm just going to run from them). "Smile real big and they won't take you to jail."

Learning about myself

So, all the trials and tribulations that go along with this new job are teaching me new things about myself.  Things that in all my 33 years I never realized. 

The biggest one, I need my own space.  I treasure my personal space.  TREASURE it!  I need space to just be myself.  Talk to myself while working on a project, answer the phone and get tongue tied, fart in peace!  Not  having my own space makes me one big unhappy camper.  And I think that's the main thing that's bothering me about this job.

The building we're working in was orginially built for 21 people.  (I'm working for a federal law enforcement agency.)  But, the agency has grown exponentially in the last five years.  Now, we have over 250 people!  IN.THE.SAME.BUILDING.  Tight quarters to say the least.  My office is probably 10X10 square.  And there are three of us in here!  And a small fridge and two massive filing cabinets.

To paint the picture, imagine pushing your chair out from your desk and bumping into someone else's chair. Repeat.  Repeat.  Imagine having the desk next to the fridge and having people drape themselves over your shoulders to reach around to get something out of the fridge.  Repeat.  Repeat.  Imagine someone wanting to access the file cabinet, so you have to get up, leave your chair and WALK OUT OF THE OFFICE so they can have access.  Repeat.  Repeat.  It sucks!  And it makes me crabby.

Not to mention, getting critiqued on the fact that "no one else takes phone messages", so why do you?  Or the million other things. 

I also realized, that I've been really, really lucky to this point.  Ever since I started working in an office, I've ALWAYS had my own space.  Once, it was just a cubicle, but it was MY cubicle.  Every other job I've had, I've had my own office.  And I took it for granted. 

Oh, how I wish I could get a little space of my own.  It could be a 4X4 space.  Just enough for a desk and chair.  But, sadly we have no room.

I am trying to change my outlook and trying to be okay with it.  But, frankly, I'm just not okay with it.  I'm a very social person, but sometimes I just want a place to get away from it all.  I want to lay my head on the desk for five minutes, I want to eat a snack without people watching, and by God, I want to fart without everyone knowing it's me!

Well, well, well... look who's back!

It's me, it's me!

I have finally found a groove and can work out some time to blog again.  That groove being that I still don't do anything all day, but no one seems to care.  so, I'll just blog away my days.  I still don't have access to half the things I need in order to do my job and I still don't have very many duties anyway.  But, it's gotten to the point that I can't ask anymore.  I've practically begged them to give me work and they don't.  So, I'll sit here and earn a paycheck and blog. 

In other news, I am now the new Cubmaster of my son's pack.  Yay me!  I really shouldn't have taken on a new task, but they were SO unorganized and no one wanted to step up.  I'm hoping to be able to delegate and do a recruiting to get new people on board so that it won't be so overwhelming.  But, the guy that did it prior didn't keep any records or follow any of the rules, so it's like starting over.  And I have all these cool ideas floating around in my head, but so little time to actually execute them. 

Otherwise, it's business as usual around here.  But, I can't wait to catch up.  Let me know if you have any big new I might have missed.  Anyone pregnant?  Anyone moving to/visiting me in Arizona?  Anything?

Exhausted, Frustrated, Dead Tired

Let's just say changing jobs at my age is hard, damn hard.  And going from a place where I knew it all to a place where no one knows anything is even harder.  After my first week I've learned very little, become extremely frustrated and worn myself out.  I'm not used to having to think so hard.  My old job everything was rote.  Not the case here.  Plus, the people that are training me don't really know what they're doing either.  I'm sure in time it'll be fine, but right now I'm frustrated.  I see so many things that I could "fix" but don't know how to approach the subject.  There is one person that's been here for 12 years, I don't want to step on her toes, but I could help get things organized.  And I hear she doesn't appreciate "help".  Everyone else is pretty cool.  Although it's quite different working with mainly men.  They are COMPLETELY different than women!  I'm sure in time I'll find my groove, but right now, I'm so tired.  I have to get up earlier to get to work and by the time I come home I'm so mentally exhausted that I want to go straight to bed.

My posts will probably be sporadic as I'm shadowing different people each day to learn the job, but as soon as I figure it all out, I'll be around more.  And as for the 453 posts in my inbox, they were all marked as read". 

Gime me a moment

Just give me this last moment to be sad about leaving my job.  I promise this is the last post about it.  I never really thought it'd be THIS hard.  Seriously.  My chest is tight, I'm so freakin emotional.  Some of my best friends are here.  And I see them EVERY SINGLE DAY.  It's going to be hard only seeing them occassionally.  And I know some people I'll probably never see again.  My husband doesn't understand.  He's never been in one place as long as I have.  Plus, he's a guy and doesn't make social connections like I do.  Damn, it sucks.  Where's my xanax?  Thank goodness we're having a party at our house tonight.  I can drink away my sorrows without worrying about staying safe.  Sucks, sucks, sucks.

Fine and dandy...

Boy, I've got some impatient readers!

So, yeah, everything was cool.  Carissa was acting as though she was indifferent to being friends with this girl.  We had a long talk with her about it being up to her, but also the reasons that we thought she should try to stay away from her.  But, ultimately the decision was hers.  We did explain that the girl is not welcome at our house, because of her direct disrespect of my husband and that Carissa was not allowed in the girl's house because her parents are loons and would probably try to sue us if something got broken, etc.  We told her they could have the type of relationship they used to, see each other at the bus stop and school, occassionally play outside in the neighborhood.  We thought everything was cool.

Another aside:  Carissa just got a cell phone for her 14th birthday at the beginning of December.  She lied about not having detention at school and got it taken away for two weeks.  She just got it back the day after Christmas.

The day she got her phone back she was a texting fool.  I was checking to see who she was texting and it was "nay nay" who she informed me was her friend Stephanie (not the neighborhood girl).  Then, on Saturday she said she was going to go for a walk to take pictures of the snow (yes, we had snow at our house, in Arizona!).  I had a weird feeling about it, but let her go.  It's just not the normal thing that she'd do and now I know I should've trusted my gut.  So, about 15 minutes after she leaves, she texts me that this girl is out walking her dog and she's going to walk with her.  I tell her I don't think it's a great idea, but it's her decision.  But, then I start thinking about how she was texting right before she left and my gut, etc.  So, I text her back and tell her to be honest and was this all set up beforehand.  She denies it.  But, I can just tell she's lying.  I tell you, my gut really kicks in when I need it.  So, we go back and forth, I tell her to come home.  I tell her she's being sneaky, etc. etc. 

She comes home and she's PISSED!  She starts mouthing off about how I'm not trusting her and how she's not being sneaky, the whole tears and anguish and everything I've seen before.  Let me tell you, this girl could win an Academy Award.  So, I just ask for her phone.  And there in writing is all my proof.  Come to find out, "nay nay" IS the girl down the street, and it WAS all planned out ahead of time AND they are BEST FRIENDS and have been for over a year and the girl doesn't even have a dog.  Now, of course, her version of best friends and mine is a bit different since they a) never talk on the phone, b) never hang out outside of school or the bus stop c) she's never even mentioned her and when we had the whole discussion allowing their friendship she never even said she WANTED to be her friend.  But, now, of course, they're best friends and she's the ONLY person she can tell her secrets to.  I swear, this shit is emotionally exhausing.

So, we go round and round about how she shouldn't have lied.  That she was told she could be friends with her anyway, so there was no reason to lie.  We try to point out that she acts different around this girl.  How she would have been honest about the walk if it had been anyone else.  How she would have been honest about who she was texting if it had been anyone else.  How we told her it was ok to be this girl's friend, but that she's already getting in trouble because of it.  We have the whole talk about the not lying about the phone and how it's being used, yada, yada, yada.

So, now of course, the girl's parents are upset because Carissa got her phone taken away again, so she hasn't contacted their daughter and she's grounded so they can't "hang out".  The reason that she's punished is because of the lying, not because she was with their daughter.  Lying is a huge deal in our house, huge.  If we can't trust you, then you don't get priveleges, plain and simple.  But, now I've got to deal with these people again.  And frankly, I want to tell them to go away, move, lose my address, GO AWAY.  I want to tell Carissa she's forbidden to hang out with this girl, but I know they'll just do it anyway.  I'm stuck.  Also, this girl's mom works for CPS.  And to be honest, because of the type of person I already know she is, I'm afraid she'll eventually turn words around and possibly do something about it.  It's just a bad situation all around.  WHY does she have to gravitate towards the one family that is no good?  Why does she want to be friends with this girl?  There are other girls in the neighborhood that she gets along with (although this other girl doesn't), why can't THEY be her best friends?

At this point, she grounded until they go back to school, she got her phone taken away for a month and we're still trying to figure out what the extent of her friendship with the girl can be.  I just think the girl is bad, bad news, but I know making the friendship forbidden makes it even more tempting.  If I hadn't gotten her the stupid phone, I don't think they would have gotten this close.  She NEVER used to talk on our landline and she rarely goes out into the neighborhood to play.  If we don't have something going on she always invites one of the girls we DO like over to hang out, so it's never been an issue.  But, now that's she's got the phone she chooses THIS girl to talk to all the time and get close to.  UGH!!! 

Ugh, the teenage years!

Let me tell you, it is NOT easy parenting teens.  People think toddlers are tough?  They're nothing compared to teens.  At least toddlers are pretty transparent.  And they're more physically challenging as opposed to mentally challenging.

We had a rough couple of years with Carissa during her pre-teens.  But, lately things have been going well.  She's getting good grades, her attitude is pretty good, she doesn't sass (much), she's involved in extra curricular activities, does her chores (sometimes with multiple reminders, but they get done).  I guess it was too much to ask to keep at this even keel.

A little bit of background, there is a girl in the neighborhood that is her age.  When we first moved in almost four years ago they were pretty good friends, in the sense that they hung out at school, not so much at home.  But, they were always bickering and friends, not friends, friends, not friends.  And when they were friends they tended to gang up against others.  To the point that we got numerous calls home from school.  We handled those issues and let the school handle them too.  BUT, the other mom would knock on our door EVERY SINGLE TIME something went wrong and basically accuse Carissa of being the mastermind behind it all.  Never once did she or her daughter own up to her part in it all.  Now, I've never once denied that Carissa was a part of it, but it wasn't all her.  But, this other mom always came to our house and always wanted to know how we were going to handle the situation, blah, blah, blah.  I've got to say, that when kids are this age (11, 12, 13) I think they're a bit too old to have mommy and daddy fighting their fights for them (unless of course it's something major).  But, these things were name calling incidents or just girls being mean.  Our philosophy was to let the school handle it and then we'd reinforce the school's discipline at home.  And I really didn't see a need to find out how the other family was dealing with it.  But, I guess they felt differently.

Well, it got to the point that we forbade Carissa to hang out with this girl.  They were always causing trouble.  They were always fighting.  AND I didn't want the damnn mother at my house every other day accusing my daughter of things.  Half the time, I didn't even know yet what had happened, so she'd catch me off guard and then want me to confront Carissa right there without even hearing her side of the story.  It was to the point that I had her class changed in 6th grade because they were placed together.

So, things have been going well.  We just don't try to interact with that family.  They drive like speed demons down the street and my husband gives them dirty looks for it.  The daughter told my husband to "Fuck off" one day when he was picking up our son from the bus stop.  So, we just generally don't like them and try to stay away.  And we thought Carissa was doing the same.

But, guess who got a knock on their door a few days before Christmas.  Yup, us.  Guess who it was?  Yup, the girl's dad.  He wanted to know why our daughters couldn't be friends and why we didn't like them and blah, blah, blah, sob, sob, sob.  Seriously, I was so caught off guard that I didn't have my A game ready.  I basically told him that we told our daughter to stay away from their daughter because it was just too much trouble/work for them to be friends.  The constant bickering and getting in trouble and knocks on my door.  We're trying to teach our daughter about HEALTHY relationships and about the type of people that make GOOD friends.  I told him that I just didn't think she was getting that from their daughter.  Well, he practically begged us to give them another chance.  And stupid me agreed, on one condition:  IT IS UP TO THE GIRLS.  THE PARENTS ARE NOT TO BE INVOLVED.  In any way shape or form.  I made it VERY clear that I did not want his wife knocking on my door about their friendship.  Period.  And that if they started to cause trouble we'd be rethinking this whole thing. 

And all was fine and dandy...

Have a wonderful. safe holiday!

That is all.  Go back to drinking.  (Please tell me your drinking.  You're only doing it right if you're drinking.)  At least that's what I tell myself.